I like picking up his dirty socks. I like finding sand on my clean bathroom floors. Cereal bowls in the sink just sit well with me.
It means he is here.
I know I have a long time before any deployments happen. But they will happen. I will say my tear filled goodbyes and pray for his safety day and night. He will tell me how proud that he is of me and that he will "see me soon". I can't keep denying it in my head. I have to start now on asking God to prepare my heart. It's the only way I got through those 2 months of boot camp a year and a half ago. I've just about completely blocked out that rainy December morning when I hugged my soon-to-be sailor goodbye and watched him drive away on the bus.
(Leaving for boot camp)
The most hated question is, "How do you do it?". My blunt, almost sarcastic answer is always, "You just do". I'm not living this life for Nick. Yes, I said it. I have to love Jesus more than I love Nick. I have to remember daily what my priorities are in life. What good am I if I sit at home alone waiting until he comes home to be happy? Nick doesn't want me to do that. We are to be joyful in all circumstances. Nick has taught me to thank God for the hard times. They make me lean on Him. It hurts to think about the days ahead. Tears are already flowing as I type. But the dread is much worse than the actual event. I have so much support. It is growing everyday. I am making friends who are in the same situation as I am. I want to be effective at whatever season I am in life. When you stop focusing on your troubles and get out there to invest in other people's lives, that pain lessens.
I am living on easy street right now. My husband is home for dinner every night. We giggle, we snuggle, we soak in every moment. I thank the military life for that. It gives you a different perspective. At times that I think, "Man, some alone time would be nice tonight" (don't lie, you know you say it), I remember what short time I have with him. I don't take it for granted.
I hope you snuggle up to your significant other just a little closer tonight. What a blessing it is to be able to see him face to face. And say a prayer for those families who have husbands and wives over seas. I can't imagine the feeling yet. If God puts it on your heart, please pray that I would prepare MY heart for things to come. I'm so thankful that tonight, I get to cook breakfast for supper and kiss my husband goodnight.
(The first time I had seen him in 2 months)
Victoria
