May 3, 2013

it's tough being a woman

Ya'll, this Esther study is amazing. Amazing girls, homework, and fellowship. And an amazing God we get to know more with each passing day.

What is our role as women in this world? Is being a just a wife good enough? Do I have as much purpose as those business women accomplishing big goals everyday? I mean, my goal yesterday was to get my cabinets straightened out so I can easily get to my hair products and find a small amount of space for my husbands deodorant (Don't judge...I'm a hair dresser).

This week, our discussion was "It's tough being a woman in another woman's shadow". Ouch. We all like to think, "Oh no, not me. I am confident in who I am." So, why is it when I look on Instagram or Facebook and see everyone's bright pictures of their latest nail color or cute shoes, do I suddenly feel the urge to take a shopping trip to the nearest department store? I'm almost positive someone could post a picture of their garbage can, and if they photoshopped it enough, I'd be ready to jump in the car and go get my new, awesome garbage can. Where am I putting my identity? In what color my nails are or Who my Father is?

"One goal of our study is to let God heal our world-torn souls and make us experience His security in our reality"- Beth Moore

Thank goodness That Father is merciful. He knows my heart. He knows where I fall short. But He loves me so much anyways. He wants me to completely be satisfied in HIM. I am secure in Him. He never makes me feel inadequate. --Such confidence we have through Christ toward God. Not that we are adequate in ourselves to consider anything as coming from ourselves, but our adequacy is from God who also made us adequate as servants of a new covenant, not of the letter but of the Spirit; for the letter kills, but the Spirit gives life. 2 Corinthians 3: 4-6. 

So what's MY purpose in this work-driven world? How do I answer when people say, "You don't work? What do you do then?". I'm still practicing that answer. It's definitely feels like a cut when people ask. I don't think they mean it in a bad way though. I'm so so blessed to be able to stay home, get together for bible study, and have dinner ready (most days) when Nick gets home. It didn't solve all my problems the moment I got to say I was a stay at home wife. You have to choose joy in all circumstances, which I am not the best at by any means. My purpose should be to find ways to serve God. I'm working on that servant's heart. It does not come naturally. I'm really selfish. Probably abnormally selfish. Marriage is showing me that for sure.

I hope you don't feel like you are living in another woman's shadow. That is not how God wants you to feel. Boast in the Lord! You are beautifully created by God. Have security in knowing you are HIS.



Claire Carwile said...

love. love. love.
and yes, love your willingness to be open about the internal struggles of being a woman, and what it means for God's grace to overcome it all.
I will be giving up an awesome job in September to follow Jon in the Army. The uncertainty of my career, in fact,intentionally giving up a great one, is SO scary. But again, it's a total question of identity. Thank you for the post. So encouraging.:)

Nicole said...

So good, Vic. I feel like we've talked about this a lot lately. I can relate to you so much in the feelings of where I place my identity. It's tough being in the world but not of the world. I think in your situation many women struggle with the fact that while their hearts want to be at home with their families, it is not their reality. I've struggled with some of those feelings. It is my nature to want to be in my home serving my husband whole heartedly and doing "other" things that aren't exactly "work" but the world's standards, but that probably won't be my reality. I'm sure many women put their identity into their world because of the fact that, whether they like it or not, it is their reality. I've found myself in that place. Wanting to find your identity in somewhere other than Christ because my circumstances aren't what I would have chosen. But, no matter if I'm at home or at work my identity should only be wrapped up in Jesus. We ARE a work-centered world. But, Jesus wants more. No matter if I work 40 hours every week for the rest of my life I want to learn how to find my identity in Jesus. I want to serve Jesus and serve others. I want to love others. I want to fulfill my biggest purpose no matter what The Lord has me doing as my occupation. Love how you have given up your "work" selflessly and devoted yourself to serving The Lord and serving Nick. Your heart is so encouraging to me! Keep doing what you're doing, friend. You are such a light! Annnndddd. I just wrote a book. Sorry about that.

Chelsea Phelps said...

Love your perspective in this post! It's so easy for even confidant women to doubt themselves, and I think we have all struggled with it at one point or another. I love that God gave us each individual gifts that are meant to be used in different ways for His glory. We were given this life to support our husbands in the Navy, and I am so thankful!

Kayla Tow said...

I love how honest you are!! Great post friend.