Feb 17, 2014

The JOYS and pains of the first trimester

Let me start by saying this. God is good. I’ve known this for a long time, but the past 6 months, God has just shown me how much He can handle my messy life. He has shown me what trusting Him really means. He has also shown me how trusting Him has a tremendous amount of blessings.

Since I am almost through my first trimester, I am ready to post about it before we start bump dating! So here is my long drawn out story that I will never forget.

Most of you don’t know, but in September, Nick and I experienced one of the hardest seasons of our life (though it did make our marriage stronger). Right before our PCS (“move across the country”), Nick left for training.  We found out I was pregnant the day before he left, but sadly began to miscarry a few days later.  I’m not sharing this for pity. Let me say that again, I don't want pity. God blessed us through it. I’m sharing this because miscarriage is a terribly sad thing and hearing that other women got through it (and even better- had healthy pregnancies afterwards) soothes our aching hearts.  I will say there were blessings upon blessings even during that time. I’m so thankful that God placed so many friends and family in my life to encourage me and physically help me through it.

Saying all that, I had a different approach to my current pregnancy. In the very early weeks, I lived in fear. On the first day week 9, it was like I had gotten over this huge mountain. Relief filled my heart.  I had passed the point where I had gotten last time.

I wanted to share that because I have had a couple of scares through this pregnancy but that might just be how I carry this sweet baby. My symptoms started early but have been mild the whole time. What a blessing! I knew I was pregnant before I took a test (I tried to wait until I went to the doctor to get their result! And I did wait a week before I took it myself, I just couldn’t help it!) I just did not feel myself. I can’t explain it but I’m sure you moms know. Its just the feeling.  I made Nick check the result in the bathroom and he replied with “Hmmmm..”. I ran to him and he said, “Two lines mean positive, right? –with a smirk on his face, of course! 

The next day I went to the doctor and did their pregnancy test. ****BTW San Diego ladies- Balboa hospital only does the urine tests, no blood work until your first prenatal appointment (Florida was different, they did both on the day you went in to get a pregnancy test). Guess what….It came back negative. I cried and cried and asked God what in the world was wrong with me. Now I realize it was the hormones talking ….Those pesky hormones. I went back home, took my test again, and it was positive. I went back 3 days later because I WAS PREGNANT (my poor friends never heard the end of it), and it was finally positive.  They got me all set up for my first appointment which was about 6 weeks later.

So the next couple of weeks, I just simmered in the fact that I was pregnant. I slept a lot and started to modify my workouts a little, just because I was a little.. ok a lot.. paranoid. I didn’t want ME to be the reason for anything that might go wrong again. Like I said, I haven’t gotten sick yet and have been able to keep my life pretty much normal besides being super lazy and feeling like my stomach has a hole in it because I’m hungry so much.  

By 8 weeks (or so I thought), I began some spotting. I called my doctor because of my miscarriage before and got an appointment the next day. -Sidenote- My mother and brother were coming in that day so I knew God had them there for celebration or consolation. I was praying it was for celebration! I went to the doctor and Nick’s sweet unit let him go so he could race to be there. He got there just in time to wait a little while longer, of course. They set up the ultrasound and it just felt like slow motion. I almost didn’t want to do it just in case silence was on the other end of that machine. The moment the picture popped up Nick saw it and said, "Is that the heartbeat?" My doctor said, "Yep, there’s a real live baby in there!”. Oh my heart. It hurt from the joy that was bursting out of it. The tears came. I could feel excitement running through Nick’s hands as he held mine. And then we got quiet and I heard it.

The sweetest sound you will ever hear. Life. Life given to us by God. I can’t tell you the feeling of sitting there with my husband listening to our baby. Our sweet miracle. It’s the good stuff.

We left on cloud nine. I had peace about this baby after that. I could picture him or her. I could picture the delivery room scene. The bundle in my arms. The first day we bring our baby home. I could picture it all.  I left all my doubts in that ultrasound room. And I know God will provide no matter what anyways. He has through everything.  

The best part out of this story is that an hour after we saw Baby Bobo, Nick found out he would be in training starting that weekend for 2 months (Ok the NEXT sentence is the best part obviously). He would have missed our first ultrasound had I not spotted and had to go in early. God uses the bad for the good. Everytime.

We had so much fun telling our parents, family, and a few friends (I actually told my Mom the day I “knew” I was pregnant because I was so nervous). After my 12 week appointment last week, I raced home to announce to the world. Waiting until 12 weeks was the best decision we could have made. It was a time full of peace and excitement that Nick and I got to enjoy on our own for a couple of months.    

So let's get to my pictures from first trimester! Nothing too exciting, but I'm glad I have them!

Visiting Nick during his training, that's why the background is so beautiful ;). 

My pants are getting a little tighter around the middle so I'm sure the Beband my sweet friend sent me will be making its appearance in the next week or so. My stomach has definitely changed shape in the last couple of days. It could be mostly a food baby since I've been on vacation mode since Thursday. Back to the grind tomorrow though!

See you in the 2nd trimester!



Katherine Newsom said...

Oh my goodness Victoria, this is such a sweet story! Okay, a stressful story to read about because I know the feeling of wanting something but not yet having it all too well, but oh! God is so good. How wonderful to hear about the little things he changes in our lives or the better, like the scare that let you get an ultrasound and your hubby be there. Looking back, its a blessing! Though Im sure its just been a heartache up until that point, I can only imagine. Once again, SO beyond excited for yall! I hope to see you soon and we can celebrate in person, maybe to lunch again? Such wonderful pictures! Im sure all is well & have a blessed week!!

Courtney Kassner said...

First of all, pregnancy looks great on you! Second, I am sorry that you went through all of that, but I'm sure that you are stronger because of it. Let me tell you, y'all have SUCH a blessing coming your way. You'll wonder how you ever lived without a sweet baby to hold in your arms! Thrilled for you!

The Woodard's said...

This baby has been covered in prayer from the beginning. Thank you for your bravery and gentleness in telling your story! I love you and baby Bobo SO much already. You are beautiful and wise and I can't wait to watch you be the best momma to your precious peanut!!!

Carlee said...

What an incredible story- it's amazing what good the Lord can bring about during something so difficult. Congratulations on your sweet baby!

Ashlee Francois said...

Yay!! Congrats! Pregnancy is a wonderful thing! Hoping you have good health through out.

Allison said...

I am so happy for you! Thank you for sharing your story. I can relate to so much of it and I'm so thankful we can always put our trust in the Lord.

Jes said...

So glad pregnancy is treating you so well!!

Claire Voss said...

Oh my goodness! I am SO beyond excited for y'all! :) Thank you for sharing your story, Victoria. It is so encouraging to see God's fingerprints in all of it, along with your courage and faith in Him. Praying for you guys!