The JOYS and pains of the first trimester

Let me start by saying this. God is good. I’ve known this for a long time, but the past 6 months, God has just shown me how much He can handle my messy life. He has shown me what trusting Him really means. He has also shown me how trusting Him has a tremendous amount of blessings.

Since I am almost through my first trimester, I am ready to post about it before we start bump dating! So here is my long drawn out story that I will never forget.

Most of you don’t know, but in September, Nick and I experienced one of the hardest seasons of our life (though it did make our marriage stronger). Right before our PCS (“move across the country”), Nick left for training.  We found out I was pregnant the day before he left, but sadly began to miscarry a few days later.  I’m not sharing this for pity. Let me say that again, I don't want pity. God blessed us through it. I’m sharing this because miscarriage is a terribly sad thing and hearing that other women got through it (and even better- had healthy pregnancies afterwards) soothes our aching hearts.  I will say there were blessings upon blessings even during that time. I’m so thankful that God placed so many friends and family in my life to encourage me and physically help me through it.

Saying all that, I had a different approach to my current pregnancy. In the very early weeks, I lived in fear. On the first day week 9, it was like I had gotten over this huge mountain. Relief filled my heart.  I had passed the point where I had gotten last time.

I wanted to share that because I have had a couple of scares through this pregnancy but that might just be how I carry this sweet baby. My symptoms started early but have been mild the whole time. What a blessing! I knew I was pregnant before I took a test (I tried to wait until I went to the doctor to get their result! And I did wait a week before I took it myself, I just couldn’t help it!) I just did not feel myself. I can’t explain it but I’m sure you moms know. Its just the feeling.  I made Nick check the result in the bathroom and he replied with “Hmmmm..”. I ran to him and he said, “Two lines mean positive, right? –with a smirk on his face, of course! 

The next day I went to the doctor and did their pregnancy test. ****BTW San Diego ladies- Balboa hospital only does the urine tests, no blood work until your first prenatal appointment (Florida was different, they did both on the day you went in to get a pregnancy test). Guess what….It came back negative. I cried and cried and asked God what in the world was wrong with me. Now I realize it was the hormones talking ….Those pesky hormones. I went back home, took my test again, and it was positive. I went back 3 days later because I WAS PREGNANT (my poor friends never heard the end of it), and it was finally positive.  They got me all set up for my first appointment which was about 6 weeks later.

So the next couple of weeks, I just simmered in the fact that I was pregnant. I slept a lot and started to modify my workouts a little, just because I was a little.. ok a lot.. paranoid. I didn’t want ME to be the reason for anything that might go wrong again. Like I said, I haven’t gotten sick yet and have been able to keep my life pretty much normal besides being super lazy and feeling like my stomach has a hole in it because I’m hungry so much.  

By 8 weeks (or so I thought), I began some spotting. I called my doctor because of my miscarriage before and got an appointment the next day. -Sidenote- My mother and brother were coming in that day so I knew God had them there for celebration or consolation. I was praying it was for celebration! I went to the doctor and Nick’s sweet unit let him go so he could race to be there. He got there just in time to wait a little while longer, of course. They set up the ultrasound and it just felt like slow motion. I almost didn’t want to do it just in case silence was on the other end of that machine. The moment the picture popped up Nick saw it and said, "Is that the heartbeat?" My doctor said, "Yep, there’s a real live baby in there!”. Oh my heart. It hurt from the joy that was bursting out of it. The tears came. I could feel excitement running through Nick’s hands as he held mine. And then we got quiet and I heard it.

The sweetest sound you will ever hear. Life. Life given to us by God. I can’t tell you the feeling of sitting there with my husband listening to our baby. Our sweet miracle. It’s the good stuff.

We left on cloud nine. I had peace about this baby after that. I could picture him or her. I could picture the delivery room scene. The bundle in my arms. The first day we bring our baby home. I could picture it all.  I left all my doubts in that ultrasound room. And I know God will provide no matter what anyways. He has through everything.  

The best part out of this story is that an hour after we saw Baby Bobo, Nick found out he would be in training starting that weekend for 2 months (Ok the NEXT sentence is the best part obviously). He would have missed our first ultrasound had I not spotted and had to go in early. God uses the bad for the good. Everytime.

We had so much fun telling our parents, family, and a few friends (I actually told my Mom the day I “knew” I was pregnant because I was so nervous). After my 12 week appointment last week, I raced home to announce to the world. Waiting until 12 weeks was the best decision we could have made. It was a time full of peace and excitement that Nick and I got to enjoy on our own for a couple of months.    

So let's get to my pictures from first trimester! Nothing too exciting, but I'm glad I have them!

Visiting Nick during his training, that's why the background is so beautiful ;). 

My pants are getting a little tighter around the middle so I'm sure the Beband my sweet friend sent me will be making its appearance in the next week or so. My stomach has definitely changed shape in the last couple of days. It could be mostly a food baby since I've been on vacation mode since Thursday. Back to the grind tomorrow though!

See you in the 2nd trimester!

Victoria

Present in this location

Hello ladies!

This past weekend, some of my favorite girls and I attended a Priscilla Shirer event at Central Church in Memphis, TN. I have seen her once before in Southaven, MS, with my mother in law, and I just loved her! She speaks truth in the most encouraging way. Both times I have left her speaking events, I have been convicted and motivated in BIG ways!

Friday, it was just my mom and I that got to see her. We have really never attended many women's conferenced together, so this was definitely a treat. Priscilla spoke of God's patience and how we can never be out of His reach. She encouraged us to understand that sometimes as the Holy Spirit changes us from within, those old relationships don't always hang around. They don't always stand through the heat with us. But we always, always have a Father that hangs with us no matter how long the process takes (our whole lives….). She explained that the Holy Spirit chips away at everything in our life that doesn't look like Jesus. How exciting to know that we have something alive in us that is guiding us along the way of this life. Our God is alive and working! He is never absent, no matter how quiet it seems. Just when I feel like I can't stop saying or doing that sinful thing, I remember that God is patient with me. He is guiding me and I can turn that thing around with His help. He won't ever say "that was one too many times, I'm done. I can't take it anymore!". Nope, but that sure sounds like something I would say.

The other big thing I took away from Friday night was the word "location". Priscilla reminded us to "take stand in the location God puts us in". She told us that the enemy tries to downplay how we influence those close to us. That we are just the mom's who take care of the babies, that those new military wives are older and wiser in this military thing, they don't want this newbie to encourage them when their husbands are gone. What do I know?? The enemy wants me to think I'm not skilled and eloquent enough to talk to my new friend about Jesus. The thing is…I'm not! But God is. He is so ABLE. He will speak through me. Maybe even just by my actions in the beginning of a friendship.

We are given this "sphere of influence" by God. He is ENTRUSTING these lives to Nick and I. He knows that through Him, we can plant seeds and encourage our military friends. I want to look back and see the blessings through our obedience. He is specifically placing us in San Diego for a reason. This isn't by chance. He didn't work out every small detail of our living situation within ONE DAY of arriving in San Diego to house hunt for some small reason. I will always look at new ladies I meet as seeing God's hand pushing them towards me, saying, "Here is this precious life I made".

He is sending me across the country for a purpose. He has you at this location for a purpose. Be present where you are. Be intentional where you are. He placed you there. HE did.

I guess I will have to save Day 2 for another day since I just went on and on today! I'll leave you with a picture from that night of my mom and me before the conference! Ain't she cute??

Victoria

Self-Sufficient

Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

In church, we were given a prayer list to pray over this week before we begin Spiritual Emphasis (or Revival). As I sat and drank my coffee, I read the first day and looked up the scripture.  Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. The world has taught me that the poor in spirit are those who (insert whiney voice) “Eeevvvvverything has happened to me….I can’t catch a break.  I need someone to feel sorry for me”.  But that’s not what Matthew 5:3 explains.

My bible notes explain to me that “poor in spirit” is a good thing. It is humility. Deep humility. It is knowing the danger of being apart from God.  One who is poor in spirit is completely opposite of being self- sufficient. Uh oh. That one stung.  Yes, I trust God, but what about in those stressful situations that I just need to figure this one out on my own?? Nope. If you are a child of God, those situations are when you get down on your knees and throw those hands up, giving it to God. It’s so hard, but so completely necessary. Do you really want to figure out your life on your own? No, thank you. I know God has good plans for me. He wants me to depend on Him. He wants me to be so aware of Him. He’s not like me, getting really nervous when someone is depending on me for happiness or stressful times in their life. Here is the great thing…He doesn’t get nervous.

So all that being said. I am broken. And joyful. Broken because during this move, I want to depend on me (watch out, anyone in my life. My attitude will probably stink). But this morning, that word, “self- sufficient” hurt. It hurt because that’s what we are taught. I naturally want to be self- sufficient. So this week I am praying for a poor in spirit attitude. Funny how he shows me this almost a week before I move to California. That’s where the joyful part comes in. I’m praying that my heart will be prepared, so that I naturally depend on God. Not me. 

That is what that verse gave me this week. It will probably show me something different next week. I would love to know how God has spoken to you through that verse. This book really never gets old. It has something new for us every day!

Victoria

heart issues that sting

Being out of your comfort zone makes you realize your weaknesses. I have seen selfishness in me. I thought I knew this before, but I like things just so. God is completely doing REAL work in my life right now. He is dealing with some heart issues that sting a little. 

God put a "routine, don't mess up my schedule" gal in this crazy, chaotic military life. It's a little comical now. Military means hurrying up to wait. It means plans change at the drop of a hat. I do not know where we will live or what week I will be moving to San Diego. When I run into my hometown friends, they ask me what I'm doing, where I'm living...you know the routine. I tell them I'm floating until Nick gives me the go ahead on hopping in the car and driving my little Nissan across America. 

Yes, I guess I could have just moved on out to California when I moved out of my house on Bay Drive, but I don't think I am ready for California JUST yet. I am so thankful that I get to go see San Diego before I move. It'll be like a mini vacation that I say, "It would be so neat to live here!"...and then 2 weeks later....I do live there.

So for now, I keep my focus on what God has for me each day. I want to wake up in the morning ready to serve Him. I'm working on putting ME aside and putting others first. I want to love God with all of my heart, soul, and mind. My actions should reflect that. That's my October goal. Picking a pumpkin and drinking fall lattes, though fun and I will be doing them..don't get me wrong, seem so small this morning. I need to serve more. I've gotten selfish. Who knows, my next post might be about my favorite fall fashion or my cozy cup of coffee, but today I want to remind myself what's important and get on track. 

"Teacher , which is the greatest commandment in the Law?" And he said to him," You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the great and first commandment. And a second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself. On these two commandments depend all the Law and the Prophets."

Matthew 22: 36-40

Came to my rescue

Just because I love everything Hillsong and this song played during worship is perfect every time, I thought I would share. 

I love worship songs that bring tears to my eyes every time I hear it. 

So much is going on in my life right now and during these songs, I can escape and be with Jesus. As I was reading through my Bible last night, Psalm 136 just wouldn't let me go. "For His lovingkindness is everlasting." Over and over and over again. Tonight, I needed it to be said over and over and over again. He is good no matter the storm. 

Take a few minutes and listen to this song.  The love that only God can give is everlasting. It fills the void. It eases the hurt. Take it. Accept it. 

Treasure it.

Happy Tuesday! It's Day ONE of moving day! Good news is.....I don't have to touch a thing! Thank you, military! 

Victoria